


Wanderball Week 2016 - Holy Okies, Bananaman!

by 3amepiphany



Series: Wanderball Week 2016 [3]
Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 20:36:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8548300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3amepiphany/pseuds/3amepiphany
Summary: Everything happens for a riesling.





	

**Author's Note:**

> http://omegalovaniac.tumblr.com/post/153142336484/hope-you-dont-mind-me-sending-a-prompt-a-bit
> 
> Champagne for my friend-friends and real pain for those of you who've been sitting through all my terrible pun work so far.

“All I did was my normal gig - set up a stage, set up the tents, enslave the populace, issue them the flashing led badge lanyards and glow sticks and the commemorative Slamboozle snapbacks, and things were going just fine until we started popping bottles!” Awesome shrugged. “I don’t know how much longer we can keep the limo hidden but the Battlesaur is out there trying to keep everyone at bay, and we can’t leave the planet.”

Across from him, Sylvia shook her head. Next to her, Wander sipped at his bottle of water quietly, the blinking lanyard and glowing necklaces and bracelets he wore bright and obnoxious in the cab of the limo. He was unsmiling.

“You don’t ‘pop bottles’ on Vitis Gamma,” was all he said after a while.

Awesome opened his mouth to defend himself, but shut it very quickly. Sylvia didn’t even have to fix him with a look for that. It was incredibly obvious that he was upset at having lost his campaign against the planet when it had been so easily conquered in the past by others, and not to mention a bit shamed that he’d been so easily trolloped over a societal slight that they were out here on the edges of the field he’d picked to set down his army, barricaded behind a wall of equipment trailers and grounded Palm Pilots. She’d wondered how long it was going to take before his being a complete and oblivious jerk was going to come back to bite him out of irony. It seemed this was it. “Are we actually here to help Awesome?” she finally asked aloud.

“Sure,” Wander said, turning to look at her. “Why wouldn’t we help him now that he’s in need?”

“I suppose that when you think about it, we really don’t have a planet to save in this situation, do we? It’s self-preserved.”

She watched as her buddy’s eyes widened slightly. “Say that again?”

“I suppose that when you think about it, we really don’t have a planet to save in this situation, do we?” she repeated herself, waiting for him to interrupt her or stop her, but he only waved his hand a bit, the glowing bracelets bouncing a bit. “...It’s self-preserved?”

“I think I know just who to ask for help, in helpin’ us with this.”

They both looked at him. Sylvia asked, “But this should be easy, shouldn’t it? Diplomacy’s easy, you do that in your sleep, I have very literally watched you solve a jiggybug carmine crisis in your sleep. Why would we need help to calm this crowd and get this guy out of here?”

“And leave this planet fermentin’ in it’s own must? Drunk on anger and frustration? No, Syl, we gotta do somethin’ to diffuse this, and we need a heavy hitter. Someone with some… appeal.”

She looked at Awesome. “Not cool, broski .”

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Not cool.”

As the sounds of the Battlesaur chasing down some errant Vitusians echoed through the field, they waited for Dr. Screwball Jones to return Wander’s phone call. Eventually he did, and when Wander answered, he said, “Ring ring! You rang the bananaphone and I got this feeling. What evil service can I talk you into talking me out of today, Boy Wander?”

“How close are you to Vitis Gamma?”

“Oh, close enough. Though if you’ve missed me you know that all you have to do is call more often! But what seems to be the matter, you never miss me?”

Wander cleared his throat and adjusted his hold on the phone as he watched Awesome playing idly with the zipper of one of his boots, and explained the situation as shortly as he could. “So. We’re in need of some crowd control here, and it’s…”

“Yes?”

“Things went… sour here.”

“Uh huh?”

It’s… a p-... it’s a pressin’ matter,” he said quietly.

“Wander, can I just say how much it means to me--”

“We don’t really have the time, we’re kind of--”

Screwball continued. “--that you would call me for assistance when you are at your lowest? That you would reach out to me in the same language that we used to share so long ago, that language we lost and call to me and cry out and say you’re entangled in a vine which you cannot escape? That you’re at the mercy of those, out there, raisin’ vrell.”

“Please.”

“I shall aid you, Boy Wander. For now is the vintner of our discontent - made glorious summer by this sun of quarks.”

“I’ll turn on the Electronic Thumb. You’ll be able to find us pretty easily. Please. Just… Please,” Wander said, squeezing his eyes tight and rubbing at them. He wondered if he was still able to remember their old variety routine, and then looked up at the shark. “Listen, I know that the three of us really had it out in the past. But I’m gonna have to get you out on that stage again for a last round.”

Awesome made a face at him.

“I know, I know. I know you don’t like bein’ laughed at. But you’re part of the bit, now. You’re gonna be in on the act. You’re gonna get laughed at and you’re gonna love it. Trust me.” Wander held his hand out in a fist.

Sylvia didn’t realize that she’d been holding her breath at that moment, until Awesome finally reached forward and gave him a gentle bump in return. She let out a little whine as she exhaled.


End file.
